Sunday, February 22, 2015

The Conversation #UnitingTheUSA

Dear friends
Please try to have this conversation 

  • Face to Face
  • At a time when both of you are relaxed.

Chats do not work
Texts do not work
Long face book comments do not work
(This is becuase 93% of human communications are non verbal)

Our Goal
Is to Unite The USA

I usually start by stating that I have a couple of facts to share.  Here are the facts

Fact #1
You love the United State of America
I love the United State of America

Powerful forces are trying to divide us

If we are to save our Beloved Country, we need to put aside our political ideologies and WE NEED TO UNITE ...

Fact # 2
I cannot change you
You cannot change me
But, You can change your self 

Fact #3
We are born with certain traits.
These traits lead us to have either a "Caregiver" or a "Warrior" outlook in life.

These same traits are seen all over the world - in the US, The Middle East, Asia and in Africa.

Prof Jonathan Haidt, a Social Psychologist has done a lot of studies on this (see a link to his Ted Talk in the reference section)

According to Prof Haidt, we are born with a basic set of values.

Warriors seem to emphasize five Values :

  • Avoid Harm and Protect the weak 
  • Be Fair
  • Respect Authority - this is a good trait as long as the folks in a position of Authority are good people.  Otherwise Warriors can be mislead by a person they respect.
  • Group Loyalty - This may lead a person to abandon right and wrong in order to safe guard the interest of the group
  • Purity 

Caregivers seem to Emphasize Six Values :
  • Avoid Harm and Protect the weak  
  • Be fair
  • Instead of authority, they believe in equal power - Since they do not like leaders, they may fail as a team
  • Instead of Group Loyalty, they are willing to invite others in 
  • Empathy - This makes it easier to mislead Caregivers
  • Purity 

This has been the moral truth for centuries.

Each individual looks at life through their own set of values.

And each individual ALWAYS thinks that THEY are right and the other person is wrong - that is our default.

Fact #4
Just now there are a lot of forces that are dividing us

These organizations have succeeded in defining folks with a different ideology as 'THE ENEMY'

And they are using a basic Clinical Psychological concept call "Cognitive Desonance"

Scientist have found that the part of the brain that is most active during this time is NOT the "reasoning" part but the 'fight or flight' part of the brain

That is why most of these conversations end up real quickly in arguments and heated fights ...

Now that you understand why this is happening to us, let us do something to reverse this.

And Unite the United State of America and the world  ...

The Plan ...  
# 1  -   Please shut down the TV for two weeks.  Stop reading blogs, emails and listening to any Radio program that are trying to divide us.   This will give you a reprieve and clear your mind.

#2  -  Know who you are.  Know what your ideology is.  Then realize and accept that your perception of a problem may be different from the perception of another individual.

# 3 -  Spend some time thinking about this.
Remember - the "facts"  you may believe in may not be the "whole truth"
There may be additional facts that you have not heard.

#4 -  Learn the art of "Active Listening"

#5 - Please click here to join our Face Book group

Please Click here for our Face Book page to take the Pledge today
Pledge to
Respect Everyone
Love Everyone
Actively Listen to Everyone 

Or if you do not have a face book page please Click here to take the pledge

#6 - Please share this with everyone you know.  
And keep the conversation going. 
Yes it is an uphill battle.  
But we CAN win this battle if we all Unite...

Now let us spend time finding solutions to our problems TOGETHER ...

Now you are ready 

Start to talk to one another
First identify the problem - different folks will frame the problem differently
Remember to actively Listen during this process

Then write down all the solutions
Choose the best solution using ALL political ideologies
That is how we will be able to #Unite The USA

References :
1. Ted Talk by Prof Jonathan Haidt

2. Most human communications are non verbal

3.  Why facebook arguments are useless


  1. I truly appreciate what you are encouraging all of us to do. I know we all have to look at ourselves first....the man in the mirror (Michael Jackson) and make ourselves totally available in our interactions with others. It is so easy to blame and judge others as the problem. It takes empathy, wisdom, and plain hard personal work to come to the table in the spirit you are suggesting. Thank you for reminding us.

    1. Thank you very much.
      I strongly believe together, we CAN make a difference in this world.